Cold
by ReturntoZero1
Summary: Oblio is left outside to reflect on his thoughts.  Warning: yaoi and lots of angst.
1. Frozen

_A/N: Hello again. This is just another silly impulse. I really need to let off some steam so Oblio and Angel are going to have to deal with it._

_Parings: AngelxOblio_

_Warnings: Angst. Lots and lots of angst.(It seems like that's all I ever write...)_

_Disclaimer:...Do I have to say it?_

_Word Count: 1,540_

_~~~~~Break~~~~~~_

**Cold**

Oblio pulled his leather jacket closer to himself, trying to lock in as much heat as he could. His hands clutched the cold smooth jacket and he let out a shaky breath, leaving a large wisp of hot air to linger and dissolve in the air. His whole body racked with shivers, never ending and coming in strong waves, making his body shutter and violently against the unforgiving concrete. His weight shifted, leaving him totally dependent on the hard wall of the unknown building. His eyes glanced at the scenery, watching everyone walk by and observing all the life around him.

A mother gently tugged her child along, rushing to get home quickly.

A business man happily chatted with a pretty woman and blushed as she laughed at his horrid joke.

A couple of loud teenagers zoomed by on their skateboards, yelling and smiling with innocence and glee.

Oblio simply watched.

A harsh breeze flew by, making the blue haired punk stop and wince at the biting cold. His hands were practically white and his face was numb. Bringing his hands up in front of his mouth, he began to blow hot breath onto his frozen fingers. They felt relieved at the warmth, but the warmth constantly escaped his hands, slipping through all the cracks and leaving him.

He had nothing.

No one wanted to see him. This place was foreign to him, and he had no friends or relatives here. Every turn was horrible, the bleak gray buildings looming over him and creating such narrow passageways of shadows. Everyone would just keep walking past him, not even noticing him and simply moving on with life. Not even Angel wanted to see him.

Oblio shook violently once more, almost crying out because of the icy wind that hit his skin.

Oblio could feel his warm tears drying quickly on his cheeks, the wind had made them even more bothersome. Angel had abandoned Oblio just like everyone else, he had promised so much and yet by the end of it they were both sick of each other. It was beautiful in the beginning, holding each other and whispering sweet nothings to each other. Oblio had never felt happier.

But as soon as that wave of warmth and love came, they began to run into a few problems. First it had been little conflicts, nothing much to be worried about and were healthy for the relationship. Then, the longer they stayed together, the harder it was to stay close. The love began to hide and dissolve, the cold winter breeze taking their love with its passing. They both tried desperately to stay together, tried to work out their problems, but no matter what they did, someone was always unhappy.

Angel was the first to suggest the break up, claiming that they needed a break from each other. Oblio grimly accepted the proposal, avoiding Angel and trying to give him that promised 'space'.

As the days passed Oblio tried to distract himself, going back to clubbing and dancing and fixing his bike. It was nothing much but he began to feel the loneliness again. It crept up his spine, itching under his skin and settling heavily on his heart. Every passing day grated on his bones, wearing him thin and making him feel so weak. His limbs had swelled with the cold and became heavy and limp at his sides. His knees locked and he could only continue watching everything pass him by.

His eyes burned and blurred, leaving his vision as a blob of gray, leaving him empty and alone.

Even as he walked back to his crummy old white-washed apartment, he couldn't help but regret everything. Everything he did was a mistake. His hand turned against the cool metal door handle and let it slowly swing open, breaking the utter darkness of his apartment. The room was scarcely furnished, just an old television set and a small burgundy couch was what the living room contained. As he entered, he rubbed his hands together, trying to get some warmth and feeling back into his fingers. Shutting the door with his foot, he began to go deeper and head towards the bathroom.

He reached for the light switch, blindly swinging around his hand in the dark before smacking the small chain and once again flailing around to pull it. The blinding light hit him and he could only close his eyes as they began to register the light. Putting his hands on the rusty sink, feeling the coolness penetrate his skin. He simply stood there, looking down the drain and holding onto the sink for dear life, Finally he moved, twisting the small half broken knob and letting out a stream of water.

He cupped his hands and winced at the freezing water, but lifted his hands to splash his face. The water dripped onto his jacket and slid down his face, making him suffer as a light breeze traveled across. The window had been left open, and Oblio briskly walked over and slammed it shut, not caring about the broken lock. Returning to his spot at the sink, he wiped his face with his hands, pushing the water down off his face and into the sink. His hands hand small broken rivers flowing down his fingers and escaped into the sink.

He finally looked up into the mirror, looking into his own eyes, trying to see something. He didn't know what he was looking for, but he wanted to find out. Yet with every passing moment, Oblio could only see a broken man. A man who was tired of everything, who was ugly and unloved by the world. He felt the shame of his past beginning to come before his eyelids, hearing the others' scorning laughter and even when he closed his eyes, he could see his own parents frowning with disgust.

Oblio punched the mirror, cracking it and getting a few shards in his skin. Pulling away from the broken mirror, he felt the hot pain travel to his hand. Carefully pulling the blood-stained mirror shards, Oblio made sure not to look into them. He wasn't worthy of love. He was ugly, and they laughed at his strange body, it was impossible for him to be loved.

Oblio began to tie up his wounds, cleaning off the blood and pouring the searing hot alcohol into his cuts. He bit his lip and watched at the alcohol burned and bubbled with his red blood. This was nothing major yet Oblio felt so much pain. He was nothing.

Oblio began to wonder why Angel loved him. Did he even love him? He probably didn't. No matter what Angel said, Oblio couldn't understand how Angel was attracted to him. He wasn't awesome or cool. He was nothing special. With a sigh, Oblio wiped away his bubbling blood, and wrapped up his hand with gauze.

Oblio stared at the ceiling. His eyes glossed over and he smiled at his memories with Angel. They would love to touch each other, not just sexually but also lovingly. Angel's hands had such a heat to them and when applied in the right places, Oblio would just melt in bliss. Oblio always had trouble expressing his words, yet his gestures and body language never failed him. Angel wouldn't even have to ask Oblio anything to know whether he was happy or if something was wrong.

Oblio had never told Angel he loved him. That was the biggest problem in the relationship. Oblio couldn't form the words, they always got caught in his throat and it was easier just to show him. Angel loved it too, all the loving touches and kissing but he always wanted to hear Oblio say it. Oblio couldn't understand, why was it so important to say it? He was showing him wasn't he? Wasn't that enough?

Whenever they fought about this Angel had always brought up the fact that he never said it.

Oblio hated this. Oblio hated being alone here and wanted to be able to go out and have some fun. He reached into his denim pocket and fished out his crappy cell phone. He opened it and quickly looked at his contacts. The only contacts listed were Angel and Kyoko. Oblio threw his phone across the room and heard it thunk against whatever it hit. He turned on his side and curled up, wanting to keep in all the warmth of Angel's touches, wanting to feel that heat in just the right places. Yet no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't mimic that beautiful warmth.

Oblio couldn't help but constantly ask himself, now that he had found love, could he let it go? Could he move on and live like he used to with this new knowledge of this wonderful feeling?

Oblio smiled bitterly.

He never realized how cold it was here in his own home...


	2. Heat

A/N: I wasn't expecting writing another chapter but I guess I will then.

Pairings:Angelio

Warnings:Yaoi and angst, also dark themes

Disclaimer:...Angel is hot no? Well I don't own him.

Word Count: 2,098

~~~~~Break~~~~~

_Cold_

Angel waited under the covers, trying to go back to sleep and dream of hair as blue as the ocean. Shifting and pushing, he brought his body to life and pressed against the sheets. Why couldn't he just stop this pain? It hurt so much, blooming deep within his chest and taking up residence in every vein. With every beat of his heart he could feel the acid push through his veins and spread throughout his body.

Raising his hands above his head, the sheets fell around his hands and he smiled. He always held up his life, trying so hard to keep the stars above him, yet close enough for him to reach and touch. He never let anything go by without some sort of control over them, and he always needed power. Yet no matter how hard he tried, he could never keep the sky above him. His world always collapsed, he would always break and be crushed beneath the broken city. He would always rebuild, yet never remake his life.

Oblio.

Oblio had slipped into his life, and Angel couldn't even describe it. It was so much hate, love, care and hurt. Everything was intertwined, he had no control over that punk. It angered him, he needed to have a hold on the blue haired dancer and have him bend to his commands. Angel thought it would be an interesting game.

But he slipped up, he fell for the blue haired dancer, and he was scared. There was nothing he could do to stop this, he had only one choice. He needed to remove Oblio from his life.

Angel frowned, that man left him with a scar, on his left hand. Angel had been stupid enough to sneak up on Oblio while he was working on his bike and it led to a small accident. A sharp piece of the bike was jutting out and sliced Angel's hand, ripping open the skin and letting the blood spill from his gash.

Tracing the smooth scar on his hand, he smiled, Oblio was so beautiful.

Angel had seen it at that moment, he knew that Oblio had fallen for him. The love and concern buried within the blue eyes awakened and became etched on his face, his touch became gentle and soft. It was then that Angel also realized that he too was in love with the lone biker. Oblio had ripped open his chest and cut open his heart and let his love spill out into the world.

It became the truth.

Angel couldn't stop the kiss from happening, his bloody hand smearing a streak of red on Oblio's cheek, painting it with the color of love, marking the punk as his love.

Angel could remember every sweet kiss, and how Oblio melted the ice around his heart. All these years Angel had lived life without this knowledge of love, always distanced himself so he would never get hurt again, but this time he slipped up.

Now every memory, every kiss became sour and almost venomous, and Angel could feel the pain flare up again. His eyes stung, his throat collapsed and Angel curled up, pushing his hands back on his chest.

Love always hurt him the most.

Angel never wanted to show Oblio that love, he never meant to create that bond but if he didn't give up Oblio, he would kill the poor dancer. Oblio deserved better, Oblio deserved a man.

Angel tried to stop his choking tears, but he couldn't.

He always cherished his porcelain dancer, wanting to touch and hold him. He wanted to break the other boy's heart, to instead share one heart and love each other endlessly. They were to be forever entwined, breathing as one and simply wasting away...

The tears blurred everything, made his skin wet and he let out a soft sob.

This was hopeless. Angel would die. He was dying right now, alone and without his heart. Oblio had taken it with him, crushing all Angel had left.

That woman was the first to hurt him, and after that day he vowed to never love again. Why did he not remember? He was so caught up in this new and hopeless love, he never stopped it. Angel knew that this love would never work, Oblio would find someone better. After the initial gleam was gone, Oblio would lose interest in Angel and leave him.

Angel found the warmth of the blankets to be burning, not soothing, so he ran to the bathroom, almost tripping as he peeled away from the sheets and became desperate for water. He needed a cold touch, he needed that chill that Oblio always provided.

Yet as he rinsed his face, a man came into his vision. This man was a horrible man, breaking people's hearts and consuming the broken pieces. Angel couldn't move at all, just stare back. Angel moved closer, trying to look into the deep dark pupils of the monster, and he only became more disgusted. He saw a coward, an ugly man who could never be loved.

Angel sneered, this man shared his face, yet his eyes had a dull caramel, mixing in with darker browns and mucking up the once bright eyes.

Angel felt ugly. He always had, he never saw the beauty that people claimed him to be. He spat at his own reflection, and turned away, he couldn't face himself. Instead he looked at his hand, eyes landing once again on the scar.

Angel never minded Oblio's hands, even though they were always a little cold.

Oblio was such a beauty, his movements and posture, confidence spilled from his pores and left a trail of awe in it's wake. Angel had never felt so alive, so drawn, he needed power. Yet as Angel advanced on the blue haired man, he was unaffected by his charms. Angel wanted to scream, he needed that boy to love him! Everyone loved him!

Angel cried again, of course no one loved him. He was a monster. He had no heart and he just needed the gap in his chest filled.

Angel ran back to his bed and sighed in delight, the sheets were cold now and he loved it. He wrapped himself under the chilly blankets and rolled around, his hand landed on something extremely fuzzy. Moving his hand and feeling around, he finally clutched the object and brought it under with him.

It was a panda, blue and big enough to fit it's stubby arms under Angel's arms. Angel stared at it, trying to come up for a reason for it to be here.

"_I want you to have him, keep him safe."_

Angel's eyes widened with realization, this was Oblio's. The bear's name was Nishi, and he was Oblio's most cherished possession. It's soft fur tickled Angel's hands, and stared back with black eyes, yet Angel began to cry once more.

Angel had power over Oblio, the power to hurt him. And their final fight had not ended well, and he told Oblio that they needed to spend time alone. Oblio had frozen at the suggestion, but he agreed. Angel wasn't able to see the other dancer's eyes, yet he knew that he broke his heart.

Oblio had walked away, with a heavy chest, hands shoved into denim pockets and never looked back. Angel felt his own heart leave him at that moment, leaving him empty again.

Angel had horrible nightmares.

Angel was helpless in these dreams, only able to watch himself violate the Japanese man. He ripped his chest open and ate his heart, thrusting hard into the other man, breaking him entirely. Other times he would bite and scratch the writhing man, only killing him. Their bones would crack against each other, shattering and mixing.

Angel snapped out of his terrified state, eyes meeting once again with black ones. The bear was still here.

"_I want to be here with you."_

Oblio had said it. Angel thought back, he loved every moment with Oblio. He loved how the boy was. He loved every mistake they made, he loved every bond they created, and especially loved Oblio's touches.

"_I'm so happy..."_

Angel loved Oblio's voice, his hair, lips, everything. Just being with the boy made him someone else, someone who wasn't a monster, someone who could love.

"_I..I ll-love...damn..."_

Angel cried, Oblio loved him.

Oblio LOVED him.

Angel wanted to be the person to catch Oblio's tears, to hold him on stormy nights and rock him to sleep. He wanted Oblio to feel safe in his arms and fall back onto him. Angel wanted to lift the boy up, to bring him higher and allow Oblio to build a beautiful utopia around them.

He could be the pillar, the base to Oblio's happiness.

Angel threw on his clothes, and grabbed the bear, rushing and racing through the house to go to Oblio.

Running through the bleach streets, Angel pushed and shoved his way through, he could be a man. Oblio needed him, he needed to apologize for everything he had done. Oblio deserved the truth.

Yet and Angel continued his trek, he saw an endless street of gray building, become a giant mass of gray. Nothing made sense, every way Angel went, he couldn't find where he was. His leg's burned, pulsing with fatigue and he couldn't run anymore. He slowed his pace to a slow walk, sweating and swaying, he couldn't do this.

Angel passed by a man and woman kissing, almost bumped into a group of cheery teens and spotted a child clutching his mother's hand.

"_I'm afraid."_

Angel sobbed, but he let it go, he let his tears fall and allowed his vision to blur. Leaning against a wall, he collapsed, letting his heart spill out. Clutching the bear he let himself go, not caring anymore, Oblio was gone, and he had Angel's heart...

"_Okay."_

Angel shivered as the cold air blew in his face, he smiled, Oblio was always cold, but always so loving.

Angel's tears dried as the wind passed, and bringing himself up again, he slowly explored the city. Oblio needed the truth. With every step, his legs burned and ached, but it was nothing to Angel.

Finally locating the apartment he stayed still at the door, hand poised in a fist. He was afraid, but this was for Oblio. Glancing quickly at the blue bear, he sighed and knocked.

Oblio peeked through the crack in the door, "What do you want?"

Angel winced, he deserved that. "I...I have your bear." Angel shuffled nervously, he could already see the disgust on Oblio's face. "I...wanted you to have him. He's yours." Angel stared back at the off-white door, wanting to see Oblio's blue eyes. Angel bit his lip, letting blood seep out of the rip.

"I'm sorry." Angel couldn't hold back his tears anymore, and all his self loathing came rising from his chest, arms encircled his torso and Angel buried his head into Oblio's shoulder.

Angel stayed in Oblio's arms, just waiting and breathing, tears fading away and drying up. Oblio's cool hands touched him and Angel let out a shallow breath.

Oblio pulled him in the cold apartment and they tangled their limbs together, once again sharing a heart, and breathed.

Oblio could chase away the chill, he relished in Angel's warmth.

Angel let the cold sooth his burning desire for love, he could become someone who could love back.

The bear somehow made it inside the apartment, lying innocently on the ground.

Leaving into Oblio's room they escaped the bleach city and found a place in each other, a place where despite the pain and suffering, despite the monotony and the boredom, the connected and lived, finally coming into a perfect balance.

Love.

Love made them complete in this life, made them not only live but feel alive, take them to new places and change them into better people.

Angel smiled, even if this love failed, even if they grew apart, he could be a man, he could hurt and rebuild his life again, he would make himself new again.

Oblio leaned back onto Angel's chest, finally believing that he was someone worth loving, that they could make it out together.

Another soft wind blew and the couple came closer together.

"I love you."


End file.
